I AM SOOOO SORRY!!!

I have to apologise, it seems I forgot my login to get here!!! What a dork! But I'm good now.


So what's new well lemme see....

1. I weigh 186, 86lbs lost! Not just mis-placed!



2. I am struggling to keep my 17 Jrs jeans on, they are falling off. Not whinin' just stating a fact! I can sag like a gangsta in them.

I CAN and do fit into some size 12 jeans!! Yeppers!!

2. I feel flat when I lay down. What the heck does that mean, unless you've been through this you'll NEVER understand.
3. 
   
   
4. Sick? Who me? Yep nearly everyday that I eat dinner at home I get way too full way too fast. I KNOW I'm not getting in enough protien or calories. But I can't! I can eat the following things comfortably for the most part. I can get sick on this but it's usually pretty good!

• 1-2 oz of ham,



• 1/2 to 3/4 of a tostada from Taco Bell -- say it with me oooo healthy.



• Crackers any type no more than 3 or 4



• Baby food- fruit only!!!



• Mexican Pizza from Taco Bell-- again oooo healthy!

But I'm so darn frustrated and feeling so guilty about not eating right I eat what I can. I can take in about 3-4 spoons of clam chowder. Maybe 3-4 oz of Campbells soup. Pozole no longer works for me.

1. I drink HOT tea all day long usually just under a gallon over the course of an entire day.
2. My hair is seriously falling out FAST!! I mean REally fast! I can now feel my scalp through my hair. I've always had "too much Hair" according to the stylists but now even the stylist I have noticed the change. When I first got my hair cut it was holding that style so well now it's kinda fly away looking. Yeah to those whos hair is already thin, they just don't understand but us think haired people struggle with hair so thin.
3. My right knee still hurts. Going up the stairs can be hard at night or first thing in the morning!
4. I'm coooooooooooooooooooooolllllllllllllllllllllllddddddddddddd so cold! All the time! But I still hate jackets and hold on to my theory "the reason I'm fat is God is preventing me from being a nudest".
5. Old, my skin is old and saggy and not in a good way. I could pass for 75 or even 90yrs old if you look at certain areas of my legs or arms. I'll not be able to wear shorts ( which I LIVE in in the Summer) nor will I be able to even wear a regular T-shirt. Tooo much saggy skin. HONESTLY. I'm not being vain her that's the truth!
6. I'm considering starting a fundrasing activity to finance my upcoming cosmetic surgeries, you know: Breast, Legs and Arms. Any ideas???
7. And last but certainly NOT least. I fit into my 12yr olds jacket. He WANTS me to wear it. He's so proud of his Mama!

My Sizes Are Changing

Wow I went shopping on Friday night (you skinny people won't understand, LOL) I wanted to try on some pants. I have soooo many problems with pants, always have. So I wanted to see what size I'm wearing. I have only purchased one pair of jeans since surgery, because they all look bad on me or don't fit. I fit into a 16 pretty good but one style of jeans only worked well in a 14! What? No kidding. I also found a cute top in a - wait for it- 14 too! Dang. Like an infomercial -- But wait theres' more.

So the next day I was hangin wit my homies. We went to lunch THEN TRIED ON CLOTHES that's always been taboo for me. But we did it. I could actually shop with my friends not complain about being in the "Barbie" department. One of the "girls" kept bringing me stuff to try I tried them all some fit some didn't but the shocking thing for me is she brought me a 17 Jrs I didn't even know it exsisted and it fit!! And a Large top and it fit. NOT a 22!!! I felt so good I bought them both. Since I'm going through all these unbelievable changes I don't wanna spend alot on my clothes and it worked out well as my total was like under $20. Sooooooooooo awesome! Thank God for Clearance Sales.

So to recap. In Feb '07 I weighed in at 272lbs. Pre-surgery I weighed in at 239 -- today 14 weeks post op I'm at 192!! Start size slipping between a 22 and 24 now a teetering between 16 and 14's!! No Way!!! And the best part is I'm not done!

I can wear a 14?

Today I bought a size 14 shirt and 14 pant and a Large shirt and a 17 jrs pant! I couldn't believe it when Paula insisted the 17 jr. I was shocked!!!

Every day you can learn something new.

What I learned today is something I've known for a while. Compliments and I are not friends. I try really hard to not look frumpy no matter what I've weighed. I don't think I've always suceeded but I've tried. So today I was told by a dear and good friend, to stop. Stop what? Here's the example. I've lost 77lbs to date. If someone compliments me I find the negative in it. If they say I look good I follow that up with something bad, just so they know I'm not snowing myself that I'm aware I'm not perfect. The part that struck me was that those who compliement me almost always will say it out of kindness, I minimize their compliments by adding the negative ant that could make them feel bad. THAT'S NOT MY INTENT. I'm sorry to any one that I've offended in this manner. I work hard to keep up my appearance and I thank you for noticing. Pardon me for being so selfish to not accept your compliment more gracefully! I will work on it.

For those who check daily-- no loss today! But it's coming soon!!!!

Nothing to Report.

No: weight change, food change, job, money but I still got JESUS!!!